Friday, February 1, 2008

OK, one more thing, then I'm REALLY folding laundry

My favorite "how many ____ does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes are:

1. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Hey, let's go ride our bikes!

2. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None, let them cry in the dark.

3. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Potato.

4. How many divas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Just one, because she holds it up and lets the world revolve around her.

5. How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
- One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house
knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED
OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light
bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17
YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER,
the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE
FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!
IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT
DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! . . .
I'm sorry. What was the question?


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