Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Your first, second and third child

This is so true...I'd just like to share a picture of what MY third child is wearing today. Now, granted, we haven't left the house, but I actually wouldn't care if we WERE leaving the house. I wouldn't make her change for several reasons. First, because if it's clean, what do I care? Second, because even if it wasn't clean, she's not naked, so what do I care? Third, because if that's how she expresses creativity, who am I to judge? (Although in the interest of full disclosure, I do have to say that Kate was the one - I believe - who picked out Abbie's outfit.) Last, because, really, who cares? I'm getting to where I kind of relish the behind-the-hand whisper of "Oh, they homeschool." :) (Kind of exaggerating and projecting, but only a little bit this time.) I love being the freaky homeschool mom. I love that my kids add up items in the grocery cart for fun. I love that my 4-year-0ld does first grade math. I love that Katie likes to speak with a faux British accent when she "teaches" her brother and sister. I love that she takes attendance when we get in the car. (And yes, I have to say, "here" just like everyone else.) I love that my three-year-old asks me, "Well, what are my options here?" when I ask, "What would you like for snack?"
My point being, of course, that my kids are wicked smart. However, their fashion sense seems to have come from their Uncle Neil.

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name
1st baby: You pour over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six - eight weeks
2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks
3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room

Baby Book
1st baby: You religiously make entries every day, carefully noting the number of spit-ups and bowel movements for the first year
2nd baby: You enter a few facts each week but stop after 6 months
3rd baby: You buy the book but enter the child's name, birth weight, and length on the first page

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing a coin
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.
3rd child: When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!


Connie Garlick said...

Hmmm...I don't know, kinda looks what I wear around the house after work...

Shelley said...

OMG that is THE funniest and incredibly TRUE depiction of motherhood I've ever read in my life! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

Andrew Jeremiah said...

Sorry for posting this on your site - but I'm sure you can delete it, I just thought you might want to know that Magenta from Blues Clues is most definitely not a boy - since with your duh comment on the cfhusband blogsite you made it sound like anyone should know that fact.

Here is the info from the nickjr website so you can check it yourself


Not that it is generally a topic of discussion, but no need to make anyone else look stupid :)

Kayelle said...


Sounds like you like being a homeschool mom. How did your 4 year-old learn to do first grade math? Does she learn with her older sister when you are teaching her?

Anyway keep up the good work. I live in NYC and our 4 year-old son will be in a gifted and talented class in the fall. I want to be able to help him learn as much, however, I work fulltime.

Well until next time, must cook now.