Friday, October 31, 2008

Daddy Daycare...Nia-style

It's really just the first 15 seconds or so you should watch....then "listen in" on this conversation w/' my 5-year-old niece, Nia:
(Keep in mind that I am NOT making fun of people w/ allergies. I totally get that it's a serious thing. Having never had them myself or dealt with them in any of my children, I wanted to make sure I was getting it right. Hence the conversation on the way to the grocery store.)

Me: OK, Nia, Nico's not allergic to anything, is he?
Nia: Yes, he's allergic to milk. He can't have milk in a cup.
Me: But if I bake a cake and it has milk in it, that's OK? Just not to drink?
Nia: Yeah, I think so.
Me: And Josiah's only allergic to eggs, yes?
Nia: Yes, just eggs. DO NOT give him ANYTHING with eggs in it. That means NO waffles and NO pancakes! And no eggs.
Me: And you're just allergic to bunnies, right?
Nia: Just bunnies. And dust mites. And amoxicillin.

I about drove off the road, I was giggling so much. I love that kid.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday YouTube Crack

This is a different type of YouTube than I usually post, but I am so in love with this movie. (Also, I just think Reese Witherspoon is tremendous, and Joaquin Phoenix was amazing in this role.)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

We are all sick.

Well, I am, and that means we all are. Blech. Kate seems to be the sole illness-free member of the household.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thursday YouTube Crack

Jon's not THIS bad when he's sick. (Not quite.)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Can you run a mile - naked?

Abbie and Micah can. Last night at bedtime, I was getting them undressed in the den. I said to Abbie, "Now, before you go get your pull-up and pj's, I want you to run around the house two times!" By "running around the house", I mean the loop that goes kitchen, hallway, living room, kitchen (there are 2 kitchen doors in our house, one at each end). The "loop", we discovered later, is 56 feet long. So Abbie squealed and started running. (Naked.) Micah, of course, wanted to get into the fun (Katie was in the bath and therefore not participating. She was jealous, though.). So Micah started running. I had to be the "lap-counter" for both of them. Abbie paused for a few minutes after 9 laps, so Micah got the jump on her. Then she dove back in, and the two of them ran laps for about 12-15 minutes (I wish I had timed it!). I made them stop at 100. (Although Micah got a few in after he finished 100, because Abbie was behind him. He did 106.) So Jon and I were curious as to how far they had actually run, because although they were a bit sweaty, Micah wasn't even breathing hard. Jon got out the tape measure and did the math, and found that 100 laps is 1.060606 miles. (Micah did 1.124124124...etc.) It should also be said that both of them were pissed off that I made them stop, and both slept VERY well last night.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I don't know how this will look in my family, but

THIS is awesome. I am so moved by this video (and the story behind it).
What can WE do for Christmas this year? (This video was taken from Gwenn's blog, but just wanted to make sure it reached the maximum number of people.)

Caffeine, how I love thee!

And now I have a brand-new way to love caffeine...a few weeks ago I found an espresso machine at a thrift store for $10.
I am in love.

Obviously not my photo, but it's this exact one and it WORKS!
Sigh. I love thrift stores. And coffee. That is all.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

It all started at a Thanksgiving Eve church service

I was there. Jon was there. Gwenn and Nick were (I think) there. My parents were there.
The place: Mt. Olivet Methodist Church, Manteo, NC.
The event: a community-wide Thanksgiving service.
The minister/speaker/song-leader: shall remain nameless because I don't want him to find this in a google search of his name.

I should preface this by saying that Gwenn and I have a life-long commitment to giggling in church. My mother used to have to separate us (and that didn't always work). Even when we were "grown-up" (college-age) and should know better, some less-interesting parts of church would find Gwenn and I passing scribbled notes on the bulletin, turning purple and shaking with suppressed laughter. If Mommy was near enough to smack or elbow, she'd do it, but we were pretty strategic about staying far enough away so as to avoid it.

But I digress. The "pastor" that night (and the reason I use " " is a. I like them and it reminds me of Chris Farley and b. I'm not entirely sure that this guys pastoring credentials were legit.) was a Unitarian Universalist (which I'm pretty sure boils down to "I'm OK, you're OK and there is no hell"), and his area of expertise, if you'd like to call it that, is like, the lute. (Renaissance-y era guitar with about 14 or 15 strings).

The "pastor" spoke about....I'm not sure what. I was probably passing notes with Gwenn. The notable event of the evening was the MUSIC! He led two songs - but not out of the hymnal, oh, no! He printed the words in the bulletin and attempted to teach it to the congregation. Oh, those poor Methodist and Baptist sopranos never knew what hit them. The first song was about all the things that the composer was thankful for. Some highlights of those lyrics are:

I've got a cat, he's a smelly old cat,
but I like him quite a lot, and he makes me want to say
THANK YOU! to somebody, THANK YOU!

That may not be an exact quote, but you get the picture. On the THANK YOU part, the melody line swooped precipitously upward and got REALLY loud for some reason. Also, do you like how the composer says THANK YOU to "Somebody"? Not God or Jesus or whatever, but Somebody.

The other song wasn't quite so lyrically inane, but it was written in some bizarre rhythmic meter like 15/8 or something. Also, keep in mind that we are being accompanied by a LUTE. Which is barely being picked up by the "pastor's" podium mic. The "pastor" also has a strange, reedy-sounding tenor voice that, I'm sure, is very well-suited to Renaissance music (with a hey-nonny-no, nonny-nonny-oh...or is it "nonny-no"? Gwenn?).
Anyway, the words to THAT song go something like:

We feel the wind...the winds of clear September
Waking our nerves, making us remember (I made up the second line...I remember the tune, though)
We feel the wind, clean and astringent winds of autumn blow!

I think we went through all the seasons, though.

We laughed SO hard and for SO long about those stupid songs. It is also worth noting that although the songs were pretty challenging to sing (not something that's really easy to teach to the average church-going, hymn-singing person), the "pastor" seemed to get insulted when we didn't all get it on the first try. I mean, the sentiment "You're not really even trying!" came out of his mouth in a very indignant tone. From the pulpit.

This was the first Thanksgiving Jon and I were together; we may not have even been married yet (it was either right after we got engaged or our first Thanksgiving married). But thus has begun a long-standing tradition of mis-using songs for our own personal comedy. We make up alternate lyrics to songs all. the. time. For instance, one that's had real staying power for us was the "Spiderman" theme ("spiderman, spiderman...does whatever a spider can...")...except we sing it like this "Abbie-snail, Abbie-snail, leaving a little slimy trail" homage to her incredibly drooly slime powers (which she, regrettably, has not yet outgrown. It's completely not unusual to see her drool for no apparent reason. I should perhaps not joke about it, maybe it's something wrong. But it IS funny.).
We've gotten a LOT of mileage out of the "Hey there Delilah" song that I posted a spoof of last week. Mostly because all of our kids have a two-syllable first and two-syllable last name, so we can start any song with "Hey Katie Bender/ Hey Micah Bender/ Hey Abbie Bender" and go on from there. Jon is especially good at the rhyming ones.
It is additionally worth noting that the two original songs that started this have retained their ability to completely crack us up. Also, when we get separated in a big store, Jon will whistle the first part of one of the songs, and I know where to find him. It's like our own personal Marco-Polo game.

Happy Thursday, all! I need to go school my children.

Thursday YouTube Crack

I've got two today! The first one is also posted on Gwenn's blog, but it definitely bears re-viewing. (And now it will be stuck in my head all day.):

The next one is from hulu, which is now slowly becoming my crack addiction. The SNL crew has always been the BEST at impersonations, but this one was all the more hilarious because one of the guys they're spoofing is Adam Sandler. Who started on SNL.

I promise I'll post a "real" post in a bit. (I know, I know, you're on the edge of your seats.)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Bill Cosby

My friend Neil does a Bill Cosby impression that about brings me to tears every. time. Who knew that talking about Pudding Pops could be so hilarious? However, I was channeling my inner Bill Cosby this morning. He does a bit where he rationalizes giving his kids chocolate cake for breakfast ("What? It's got eggs...flour....butter...") Mostly, though, what's stuck in my head is the part where his kids are chanting, "Dad is GREAT! He gives us chocolate CAKE!"
Which is what my two youngers and my niece are doing in the next room. Yes. I am THAT mom. (And my rationalization is that hey, now it's gone! I don't have to deal with it anymore!)

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Thursday YouTube Crack

Disclaimer: I harbor no animosity toward Sarah Palin. I actually kinda like her. But this is one of the best satirical songs I've ever heard. (Also, it spoofs a song I really like, and it's soooo easy to put your own lyrics to it - another fun activity in the Bender household (more on this later).)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Whatever will I do with myself?

Jon just took the kiddos to his folks house for the weekend (he's going, too). I have to work evenings this weekend, so I stayed home.
I don't know how to add a poll (and am too lazy to find out), but do you think I should:
a. clean out the kids' dressers, closets and toy shelves
b. surf the internet endlessly and drink wine all weekend
c. get a pedicure and go shopping


Hmm....what to do, what to do?

Why I Heart Pandora Radio

Because today while I was cleaning, I put on my station entitled "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This" (Eurythmics) and heard Tiffany, the Bangles, Janet Jackson, Debbie Gibson, Depeche Mode, Madonna, Berlin, Culture get the point. I'm such an eighties geek. And it's FREE!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Google help!

OK all you computer whizzes out there. Last week, my internet speed was upgraded. (Well, supposedly it was. I think I might actually be paying nine dollars a month for a slightly SLOWER connection, but never mind that. That's an Embarq rant for another, far more boring post. Which I'll probably never make, because really, who wants to read about THAT?)
However, after I re-started my computer after the "upgrade", my home page automatically goes to Google FRANCE every time. Which is not THAT big of a deal, because it's just a few clicks to make it go to English, but it's annoying nevertheless. Also, since blogger is a product of Google, I have to change the preferences there every time I go to sign in, blog, or comment on someone's blogger post.
Anyone know how I can set it back to English as my default?

My favorite YouTube

I should call it "My Favorite YouTube OF THE DAY" because YouTube is my crack. (Hmmm....maybe this will be my "YouTube Crack Thursday" that way I'll at least update once a week!) But I got this idea from my sister Gwenn.