Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A new post for Melody

Melody yelled at me yesterday for not updating more often. I really didn't have that much to say, of course. I am getting off the computer in NO MORE THAN 15 minutes to pack for Creation. I know my list of "things I like" says "packing for Creation", but perhaps I should amend that to say "when I don't have to work". But we'll "git'r done" today. We have to.
The main thing on my mind is Haiti. Specifically, my sister and Haiti and how very far away (physically) from where I am. Growing up, Gwenn and I had a, dare I say, "fractious" relationship. Which basically means I was very mean to her. I'm not going to expound on that because it makes me want to bash my head in with a frying pan (which is what she should have possibly done to me when we were in middle or high school). Anyway, we've gotten over that, which is to say that she's forgiven me for being a total and complete bitch to her. We're now pretty tight. Meaning, we talk on the phone usually 2-3 times a day. And even though we don't physically see each other as often as I would like, we're close. I've called her crying about one thing or another more times than I can count (or want to). We share parenting advice, marriage moments, weight struggles, depression issues and more that I don't have time to get into right now.
Last night I was laying in bed, re-playing in my mind the video I had seen of the "big reveal" at Crosspointe the other day. For those of you who don't know Gwenn and her family, their church partnered with the Haitian Children's Home to buy a plot of land so they can begin building another home for orphaned and abandoned children in Haiti. The amount of money needed to buy the land and begin was $385,000. Their church took up an offering last week and raised $405,000+ for this project. God's hand is so evident all over this project. When Gwenn and her husband decided to put their house on the market in preparation for the move, it sold in ONE DAY.
I have no doubt that this is what Gwenn and Nick have been called to do. But as I said, last night as I lay in bed thinking about the video of the reveal, it hit me like a ton of bricks: my Gwenn is going away. Far away for a really long time. To someplace where I WON'T be able to talk to her every day. The reality took a bit to sink in, but when it did, whew boy, was I a blubbering mess. (I am right now.)
I am so selfish. I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW that what they are doing is such an amazing thing. They are literally living out the commandment of God for us to feed the widows and the orphaned. But what I was thinking was, "But what about ME?"
God not-so-gently said to me, "Really? You'd keep her here for YOURSELF?" (To which I stamped my feet and whined, "YES!")
I guess I'm just late on board with the whole reality of what this move means to our family. Of course we'll see each other. I can't wait to go visit them in Haiti. I know they'll be back here to visit.
This is so hard. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
I'm out of time and I'm no longer coherent. Please pray for Gwenn and Nick as they begin preparations, but please also pray for ME.

5 comments:

Shelley said...

I am definitely praying for you hon. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if Chris and Ava up and moved so far away....just the thought of it sends a pain right through my chest. Just know that if you need me I'm here. :)

Melody Strayer said...

I hear you, girly. I love you.

Connie Garlick said...

I understand. Will be praying for all of you. Love you all.

Gwenn Mangine said...

OKay-- finally reading blogs again...

I get what you are saying, but I want to offer a little bit of hope.

1- I can still talk to you everyday. We will work all that out. It's JUST not that expensive.

2- I am fairly certain that once you go, you will get the "overwhelming YES that supersedes the NO's" What I mean is that what is happening in Jacmel right now is SO revolutionary in terms of life change-- I really do think your heart will hurt less. (That's what I am counting on for me anyway.)

But I get you. Believe me, I get you.

Connie Garlick said...

hey there - how about another new post???