Housewife?

Wow, do I totally hate that term. Almost as much as I hate the internet acronym "SAHM" (stay-at-home-mom). (Although as a parenthetical aside [surprise, surprise], I do, in general, like acronyms. Almost too much, I think. My sisters and I have a secret acronym [and no, I won't tell you what it means, except to say that it does NOT stand for "Holly Springs"] that we share. HSP. That's all I have to say about that.) Anyway, the SAHM thing, aside from being awkward to say, just doesn't begin to encompass what I actually do. (Because you KNOW what I actually do...sit on the computer half the day and ignore my children. lol...see, there it is again) And I've already shot myself in the foot with using the "domestic goddess" title, since I can't claim to be one as I've already proclaimed across the internet (or to the five people who read this blog) that I am loudly, proudly, defiantly the domestic UNgoddess. Which is a good thing, because there are at least three other blogs on blogspot with some variation of domestic and goddess and un in the title.
I have decided that I prefer the title "household administrator". Doesn't that sound fancy and important? Like I might need an MBA (snorting at the acronym) to do the job correctly? What would the job description be? I'd really like your input. I'll get started:
* applicant will perform all household cleaning activities, including - but not limited to - cleaning up pee around the toilet from a 4-year-old with poor aim, scooping up dog crap in the backyard until offspring are old enough to perform the task, scraping dog crap off of said offspring's toes when they miss a spot, emptying the dishwasher ninety million times a week, fashioning princess dresses out of dishtowels and re-tying said dishtowel even though you've told the princess in question that a dishtowel is JUST NOT BIG ENOUGH and can we find something else?, automatically correcting manners (sometimes Daddy's by accident), etc, etc, ad nauseum, world without end, amen, amen.

Keep in mind that we are also a homeschooling family, so add in there the duty of biting your tongue when what you're teaching is JUST not sinking in (and I'll also throw out there that I KNOW it's my deal, and not theirs, and I need to find a different way to teach it. I understand all that.), correcting math worksheets and spelling tests, fielding questions that you don't know the answers to (thank God for the internet!).

So come on, guys, help me out. I want my resume to ROCK! Make me sound important! Remember, the title is "Household Administrator". Not housewife or SAHM or domestic engineer.

Our Israel

Jon and I first met Israel when his dad (Jim) was the pastor who officiated our wedding. Actually, I had met him before that, but not much. Anyway, he was about to turn nine when we got married. Today, he is at open-house for college at East Carolina.
Israel is one of the coolest kids I have ever known. His capacity for love and patience is prodigious. His talent for art (painting and photography...especially photography!) is incredible. Also, he's pretty cute!
One of the things that has especially won my heart forever is how much he LOVES my kids. His whole family does, of course; my Katie started going to Candy when I went back to work when she was 9 weeks old. Micah is named after their son who lives in heaven now. I found out I was pregnant with Abbie about a week after they found out they were going to be adopting Jessica. Our family ties run deep. And of course, the way to win over any woman is to truly, deeply, madly love her children. Israel was our first babysitter (that wasn't my mom, Jon's folks or Candy). He came to Creation with us to watch Katie when he was only thirteen. About a month ago, Candy, Jessica, Katie and I went to Virginia for the day and Israel offered to keep my littles. They had a blast, and I got some GREAT pictures out of the deal. He also took some portraits for a project for his art class and one of Katie's pictures is now in the art show at Festival Park.
Just wanted to share a small piece of Israel's talent and his heart for my children.
If you read this, Israel, I love you!

Whew...someone pass the Two-Buck Chuck!

Tonight I volunteered to be one of the babysitters for a "Parents' Night Out" program at the church where Micah goes to pre-school. I worked with my friends Penny and Tracy (Tracy watched the 2 "babies" in the nursery); Penny and I had 17 kids, aged 2 1/2 to 9 from 6 to 9 PM.
We fed them pizza, watched a VeggieTales movie, had a scavenger hunt inside the church, played musical chairs, played "freeze dance", and I taught them the words/motions to the Bigsby song "Do You Love Jesus?" (for a cute video on the topic, see Gwenn's blog, at the right).

Jon picked up my 3 before it was over, so they could go to bed. A few of the kids were still there when Penny and I started pushing chairs back, wiping down tables, vacuuming, etc. One of the kids thought it would be funny to lead the other few in pretending that the vacuum was a tornado, so we had 3 four-year-olds and a five-year-old, running from the vacuum, shrieking, "Tornado! Tornado!" Well, I should amend that to say TWO of the four-year-olds and one 5-year-old were shrieking, "Tornado!" The remaining 4-year-old misunderstood the point of the exercise, and was running around, shrieking, "Potato! Potato!"
Truly a great moment in church-childcare history.

But I'm serious about the wine, people. You've got to do better than this!

Dammit. Oh, well. I guess I'll just go to bed. (I'm saying that last like Eeyore.)

A spirit of optimism

That is what my Abbie exemplifies. Or else she's just severely delusional. Case in point: this afternoon, she said to me, "Mommy, can we have a snack?" Since we had VERY recently eaten lunch, I said, "Not right now." Of course, to me, this means, "No." But Abbie turned to Micah and said, very excitedly, "Micah! Mommy says we can have a snack in a little while!"
See how that works?

I keep checking this one blog

...for an update. Nothing. Hours go by, check again. Nothing! DAMMIT! When is this chick going to update her friggin' blog?
Oh, wait. It's mine. And yes, I'm a blog addict. I'm not going to admit how many I check on a daily (sometimes always multiple times daily it's eight). So there you have it. I'm updating even though I don't have much news to report. Just because I'm tired of looking at the same thing every time I click through my blog on my way to more interesting blogs.
Like, for example, my sister Gwenn's. I didn't think it was possible to be MORE updated on her life, because, after all, we talk on the phone usually no less than four times a day. (And that's hardly exaggerated at all.) However, some of the blog posts she writes are stuff we actually didn't get around to talking about! I only wish my other sister Melody would write a blog so I'd have one more thing to get addicted to.
OK, happenings in the Bender household this week:
Jon celebrated his 35th birthday yesterday. By "celebrated", I mean he went to work for a 12-hour shift, then came home to a dinner of leftovers (that he heated up for himself) and a "Kiss, kiss, love ya!" as I dashed out the door to my rehearsal. But we did have a party/dinner for him on Sunday, so don't feel too bad for him. Also, our friend Paul is hooking him up with a KEGERATOR
for his birthday, so he pretty much thinks this is his best birthday yet.
My biglets started T-ball this afternoon. They are too excited; they want to go out and practice when it is dark, when it's raining, in their pajamas, etc. Having never been a "sports kid", this just tickles me completely. Abigaile, while not old enough yet for T-ball, is enrolled in gymnastics. If you were to ask her at any point after any class what she did there, her standard answer is "I did tricks!" When you ask her, "What kind of tricks?", she is likely to roll her eyes (seriously) and say, "MOM! Like, gymNASTICS tricks!" (I didn't write, "Duh," but that's what she's really saying.)
A Katie funny from today: I was getting the kids ready for the aforementioned T-ball practice, and Micah was sitting on his bed while I tied his shoes. I should preface this by saying that I had to wake him up from a loooong nap to get him ready, and he was NOT happy about being awake, so I was trying to jolly him along. However, he has this freakish...."thing"...about having the "loops" on his shoelaces too long. (I know, he's strange.) But as I was kind of in a hurry, I didn't take the normal care to ensure that the "ears" are just the right size and the excess was tucked in. I just tied a regular old shoelace bow and was moving on when Micah wails, "I don't WAAAAANT my ears this big!" To which Katie briskly replied, "Well, Micah, that's the ears that God gave you." A beat goes by, and I start HOWLING with laughter. I say, "Katie, he meant the ears on his shoelaces." Then she backpedals and says, "But, Micah, you DON'T have big ears!" (Although he kind of does, but nothing like Josiah's!)
Well, folks, that's about it for now. I know you're all waiting with bated breath out there in cyber-world for me to hit "publish post", right?
sooo.....

My son, the lizard

I'm not sure where this particular behavior comes from, but my son has this lizard-tongue thing that he does every. time. that he is writing. Surprisingly, his lips aren't yet falling off from the excessive licking. Sorry about the Blair-Witchy quality of the video, I was trying to suppress the giggles so I could be a little more subtle about filming this oddness.

Exercise ball

This is me now (Dwight)...just as nerdy, I'm sure. This clip cracks me up, but I figured that the ball thing while sitting on the computer is probably a good idea.